Lost

My poetry book Decade is almost done. I have been compiled all the poems I can finds that I have written over the last while into a book. Of course there are more, but they are buried deep in boxes amongst many, many notebooks and drawings, so I will save those for another book.

I just found my little notebook, which has about eight poems in it and am currently typing these up, then I will be ready to have my book edited.

I love telling stories, and I love writing poetry. My poetry isn't that solid and I do want to learn more poetry skills and learn about form and structure etc one day, but for now, this is just a bout expressing what is in  heart, and purging a lot of the pain I've had to deal with.

Lost

Once we lived a golden life,
Hand in hand,
Side by side,
But now You've moved on,
And I have nowhere to hide.

The sunshine came in,
casting light upon all our shadows,
You saw my pain,
And turned away,
You said,
'Nothing matters.'

I lost you so long ago,
But only just realised,
You said you still loved me,
I thought,
I saw it in your eyes,
I should of believed you actions,
And listened when you lied.

You walked a tangled path,
Of thorns and weeds,
They smothered you,
And you could no longer see,
Me.

Your eyes they no longer linger,
In love filled gazes,
Nor does your heart beat,
With the craziness,
Of love's unique beat,
And I no longer,
Fall at your feet.

One Year Today

One year today,
I walked away,
Not knowing this is where I'd end up.
I longed and prayed you'd see how you disrupt,
me, how you corrupt,
the happy days of sun,
that your anger it,
allowed no one,
To shine,
but only confined us,
to nothing-
ness.

I walked away,
confused,
betrayed and used,
hoping you'd see,
waiting,
longing for you to find remorse,
but of course,
Only,
Came nothing.

The year,
it has been long,
So much has changed,
as have I,
but you still seem stuck,
and I forget why,
I ever loved you...

Never Really Loved

I thought that we would be forever,
A love that was stronger than any pain,
But I was wrong,
and if I refrain,
for a moment I can see,
looking back,
it was quite easy,
to see,
that your heart was never really true,
You doubted from the start,
I knew,
I felt it,
You admitted it,
But I loved.

You looked me in the eye,
You said, 'I can do this,'
deep down, I wondered.

Everyone said, Your so lucky to have him,
like I was a burden.

Like a Mother isn't worth loving,
Like a mother isn't good enough on her own,
she prowls the night looking for her next victim...

my intentions were pure,
I just wanted love,
I saw something in you,
that made me feel at home.


I though that you were strong,
And stoic,
You were just cold and frozen,
 And know  know it.

Never will I allow myself to be fooled again,
I'd rather die alone, than let that sort of pain,
enter into my heart...


For really what is love?
I've never had it for real,
so how can I miss it anyway?

Missing what i thought I had?
What exactly am I supposed to feel?