What is it to be vulnerable? To allow yourself to feel each emotion and to know that it is ok.
To not have to hide your true self. To not have to answer, I'm fine, or I'm good when people ask you how you are and your crumbling on the inside.
Once I was too proud and embarrassed and scared to actually tell the truth. I was raised that you don't go broadcasting your problems to the world, what a different world we live in now.
Nearly everybody has a Facebook Profile, Instagram, or some form of social media. Even the president of the united states has a Twitter account.
It's almost not even normal to not be on some form of social media. I do know a few people, notice I said a few that don't have Facebook, and I am now one of them, but I'll probably get back on one day.
I used to love Facebook when it first started, looking at friends photos, reconnecting with people I knew long ago but had forgotten about-it was a novelty, like a new toy at Christmas.
But then it kept changing, and it even became an addictive escape, just out of bad habits. Wake up in the morning, have a coffee. Check Facebook. Have another coffee at lunch time, check Facebook. Have a coffee in the afternoon, check Facebook. Having some quite time after dinner, check Facebook.
I realised I was on there far more than I had ever anticipated. When I only had a cheap $100 phone, it wasn't an issue. I would only ever long onto it on the computer. But since I finally caught up with the rest of the world and got a ''cool' phone It was again the novelty, then an escape.
Then, Facebook started adding all those video feeds, then finally adds in your news feed. then I got random people I didn't know from a bar of soap asking to be my friends (obviously fake profiles) and then liking my statuses about my kids. Yup. That was it for me.
But before all of that, I had gone on and gone off several times- I honestly am so busy, that I don't even miss it.
Granted I do have other forms of Social Media, but I haven't even looked at them hardly for the past few months. I've tried a lot harder to exist more in the real world.
Being at home a lot though, as a stay at home mum, a home schooler, a carer, I think it is easy to fall into a virtual world, but there needs to be a balance of both, which can be hard sometimes.
But I think that I am more lonely now that I have left Facebook, because I don't know what my friends are up to, unless ask them. I actually miss some of the people I don't see regularly. Whereas it is easy to just content ourselves with catching up online sometimes, I don't really think this is very healthy, if it is the only form or most of the way we do this.
Which leads me back to the vulnerability thing. Yes, we may be more open on line with our lives and our bodies, but are we more vulnerable in person for it? Do we open up more to people in person, or do we just hide behind our keyboards?
I know that I certainly am more open in person then I have ever been, but it's not so much because of social media. It's because of all the trials and tribulations I've been through, that almost broke me, that taught me I can be strong in being vulnerable, there is strength in fragility.
I've had rants on Facebook, with responses of are you ok? To even why are you even posting that, people might get offended!
I don't really care, it's my Facebook I would say. I then got annoyed at people trying to filter what I said. Then I realised this is the issue with social media, once you say it, it's out there and people with judge you whether you like it or not. Even your friends.
But, what's the difference between saying it to a close friend, who probably won't tell anyone or not many people to broadcasting it to hundred's or thousands or 'friends?'
Judgement. Misinterpretation. Anger. Backlash.
But, that is the price of being vulnerable, of being open.
