All my life I've scribbled and written. It has accumulated to a large amount of drawings and stories over the years. I have kept anything that I liked or thought was half decent, always with the intent of doing something with it one day.
Well now, it is one day and I am starting to organise my stories and get them illustrated. It's exciting, so exciting, as I am not just day dreaming anymore, but actually being proactive!
It is very therapeutic, actually, and also weird. I found a dairy from like 11 years ago, full of shopping list and budgeting, but in the margins were my drawings and stories...I clearly ran out of paper!
I also found my children's scrap books I've been making for them, and a picture of me pregnant with my second child, looking so young and so different. It really took me back to that time.
I've been married twice, and both situations were not ideal, and it really took me back to a place where I was not happy. It made me realise for the first time in my life, I am actually happy and content, and I am ok with being single and being on my own.
I have plans and ambition, and just want to create a happy home for my kids.
Apart from rummaging through my hoard of bad art and stories, I had some leggings and a new dress come in the mail this week, which I was super excited about. I've had a pretty rough month due to a head injury and chest infection, and I was getting pretty housebound.
Yesterday, I thought I'd sneak out to the supermarket, and was feeling like the world’s biggest scab. I am still slightly limping and I ran into two of my friends, as you do. They didn't care, but I felt like Josie Grosse in Never been Kissed.
So, after my little pity party and chocolate adventure yesterday, I ate healthily today and put on some makeup. I tried on my new dress with my floral crown, and I felt like a million dollars for the first time in a month.
I bought myself this dress as a present to congratulate myself for making it through a very tough year. It's now been a year and one day, over it in fact and I can apply for divorce whenever I like. I'm not sad anymore, I'm actually relieved, and I know that nothing can go back to the way it was. Just like the poem, Splendour in the Grass.
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind…
I always say that in my head, to remind myself that it's only forward from here. So, this is my celebration dress.
I'm happy things are looking up, I feel as though I have been in a transitional stage for so long, just trying to make sense of life, make sense of everything, but finally, I am healing and seeing the way forward.
The kids and I also played hang man and restarted reading the Wizard of Oz series. We started it like over a year ago and life happened and we didn't end up finishing it. I actually have the entire series, so will be fun to read through all the different books. Major writer inspiration right there!
I also listened to my friend’s CD, which is an EP, containing six lovely songs. I sat in the dark, listening to the rain and the soft, folky sounds of Born in October, and I sipped on my cup of tea, feeling content that I had achieved a lot to day :)
